But let’s not dwell on that too much. The new TV season will come and we’ll be back or we won’t. But that doesn’t have anything to do with this show. It exists independent of all of that.

We get to Scott Baio Is 45 And Single and are fine with not having to ever go back to it. The respective ends of John From Cincinnati and Hell’s Kitchen aren’t exactly the finales we would have chosen to parallel ours, but seriously, we’ll take them however we can get them. The rest (Entourage, Flight of the Conchords, My Boys, Weeds, On the Lot, Greek, Top Chef, Mad Men and Psych) will have to soldier on without us. I hope they’ll be okay.

See you in September…?

There’s a little bit of catching up to do, with the finales of DeGrassi and the beleaguered Next Food Network Star having come at an inopportune time. Saving Grace, however, couldn’t have timed things better. John From Cincinnati will have to wait another painfully pretentious week, and Damages, Eureka and Burn Notice may never be heard from again (or at all), but Entourage, Flight of the Conchords, Hell’s Kitchen, Greek, My Boys, On the Lot, Top Chef, Mad Men and Psych are all apparently important enough to make the show. And thanks to Showtime there’s Californication, which at the time felt like we were ahead of the game. But at this point, it barely qualifies as timely.

Oh yeah, and here’s the link to that Onion article Jack sent us.

Darwin: Just like always, we talk about too many things…

Supporting actor in a miniseries or a movie
Thomas Haden Church as Tom Harte in Broken Trail • AMC
Aidan Quinn as Senator Dawes in Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee • HBO
August Schellenberg as Sitting Bull in Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee • HBO
Edward Asner as Luke Spelman in The Christmas Card • Hallmark
Joe Mantegna as Lou Manahan in The Starter Wife • USA

Hilary: We all like Joe Mantegna, but come on.

Darwin: We all like Ed Asner too. Sorry, Edward Asner. When did we start that?

Supporting actress in a miniseries or a movie
Greta Scacchi, Greta Scacchi as Nola Johns in Broken Trail • AMC
Anna Paquin as Elaine Goodale in Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee • HBO
Samantha Morton as Myra Hindley in Longford • HBO
Judy Davis as Joan McAllister in The Starter Wife • USA
Toni Collette as Kathy Graham in Tsunami, The Aftermath • HBO

Hilary: I don’t know who Greta Scacchi is, but this is a nice category of people, isn’t it?

Darwin: Greta Scacchi. The Player? Presumed Innocent? Shattered? Emma? Nothing?

Hilary: Well, sure. If I’d wanted to look her up. Emma gets me closest of course.

Guest actor in a comedy series

Martin Landau as Bob Ryan in Entourage • HBO
Sir Ian McKellen as Himself in Extras • HBO
Stanley Tucci as David Ruskin in Monk • USA
Beau Bridges as Carl Hickey in My Name is Earl • NBC
Giovanni Ribisi as Ralph Mariano in My Name Is Earl • NBC

Darwin: This is my favorite category. Mostly because they usually get it right, which is obviously a rarity for this ceremony. But Ian McKellen of all The Extras guests? Way to find new ways to let me down, Emmys. Otherwise, except for Beau Bridges, the rest are the epitome of what this category is for. I would hope for Stanley Tucci since he elevated his episode more then the other two, but really, any of them would be fine.

Hilary: I think I somehow missed both Beau Bridges and Giovanni Ribisi on My Name Is Earl… and I only saw a bit of Stanley Tucci (when I walked into your apartment and you and Ryan just wouldn’t talk to me so I had no choice but to watch what you were watching). There is a part of me that wants Martin Landau to win to get back the Entourage guys, who treated his Bob Ryan so badly, which I know is blurring the lines of fiction and reality even more than usual for me.

Guest actor in a drama series
Christian Clemenson as Jerry “Hands” Espenson in Boston Legal • ABC
Forest Whitaker as Curtis Ames in ER • NBC
David Morse as Michael Tritter in House • Fox
Eli Wallach as Eli Weintraub in Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip • NBC
John Goodman as Judge Robert Bebe in Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip • NBC
Tim Daly as J.T. Dolan in The Sopranos • HBO

Darwin: Again, I guess I’m lobbying for more categories, because I don’t think someone who was only in one episode should have to contend with someone who spread their role out over a few. Because Eli Wallach was really amazing but I don’t think I could justify him beating David Morse because David Morse had five times more screen time. At least.

Hilary: Forest Whitaker was great as Curtis Ames, but like most e.r. guest spots it was so blatantly an Emmy role that it feels like cheating somehow. He got several episodes to work his magic though, and I’d still give it to him, I guess. The real goal of this category is to prevent John Goodman from winning. I love John Goodman, but nothing related to Parump can be celebrated in any way. It’s a rule.

Guest actress in a comedy series
Elaine Stritch as Colleen Donaghy in 30 Rock • NBC
Dixie Carter as Gloria Hodge in Desperate Housewives • ABC
Laurie Metcalf as Carolyn Bigsby in Desperate Housewives • ABC
Judith Light as Claire Meade in Ugly Betty • ABC
Salma Hayek as Sofia Reyes in Ugly Betty • ABC

Darwin: Again, Elaine Stritch was great, but only on once, while Judith Light went through a lot of different things throughout the entire season of Ugly Betty. There needs to be Best Recurring Guest Actor/Actress in addition to this category.

Hilary: Laurie Metcalf was really good on that one episode of Grey’s Anatomy. That might’ve been last season, but I bet it was eligible, wait, as a drama. Never mind. And it’s not like I’m upset really about it getting one fewer nominations.

Darwin: At first I thought maybe she was getting nominated for My Boys. Which seemed like a terrible way to recognize that show.

Guest actress in a drama series
Jean Smart as Martha Logan in 24 • Fox
Kate Burton as Ellis Grey in Grey’s Anatomy • ABC
Elizabeth Reaser as Jane Doe in Grey’s Anatomy • ABC
Leslie Caron as Lorraine Chalmers in Law & Order: SVU • NBC
Marcia Gay Harden as Star Morrison in Law & Order: SVU • NBC

Darwin: It’s very difficult for me to go against somebody who was in Big Trouble In Little China. Even more difficult because Kate Burton not only made her episodes watchable, but she made her otherwise bland daughter Meredith become a character you could actually believe was worth building a show around. But Elizabeth “Static-Mouth” Reaser trumps all that for me. Unfortunately, I get the feeling Jean Smart’s going to win and complete her Guest Actress Emmy set.

Hilary: I kind of want Elizabeth Reaser to win just because of Saved and Standoff; I barely saw her on Grey’s Anatomy. But yes, let’s give it to Kate Burton for all the reasons you mentioned, minus maybe Big Trouble in Little China.

Darwin: Watch it. Her pen is mightier than your sword.

Stunt coordination
24 • 2:00 PM – 3:00 PM • Fox
CSI: Miami • Rush • CBS
CSI: NY • Sleight Out Of Hand • CBS
ER • Bloodline • NBC
Heroes • Genesis • NBC

Darwin: The Heroes episode nominated is the premiere, so I suppose its appearance is based mostly on Claire’s fall from the grain silo. Which seems like more a feat of visual effects. I can’t imagine a scenario in which I would say Heroes should or will win any category, but there were more impressive episodes to choose from as far as stunts go. I can’t imagine any episode of the lesser C.S.I.s are doing anything all that impressive. The ER season premiere did look pretty actiony, though I didn’t watch it. But none of it matters since at about 2:50 p.m. on this partictular day of 24, Milo put Marilyn Bauer in a van and drove like a crazy person amidst gun fire and then blew it up. A brief bright spot in (yet another) season of stupid.

Hilary: You did actual research to find out what happened on those episodes. Wow. I don’t remember the e.r. season premiere at all, unless it was when Sam shot Garrett Dillahunt and such. That was pretty good. But I’m fine with 24 winning. It’ll remind them why we used to like the show. It had nothing to do with helicopters.

Individual performance in a variety or music program
79th Annual Academy Awards • ABC • Ellen Degeneres, Host
Late Show With David Letterman • CBS • David Letterman, Host
The Colbert Report • Comedy Central • Stephen Colbert, Host
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart • Comedy Central • Jon Stewart, Host
Tony Bennett: An American Classic • NBC • Tony Bennett, Performer

Hilary: My TiVo records Conan a lot, and he’s always great. And I would like him to be nominated individually. Just saying.

Children’s program
Hannah Montana • Disney Channel
Nick News With Linda Ellerbee: Private Worlds: Kids And Autism • Nickelodeon
That’s So Raven • Disney Channel
The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody • Disney Channel
When Parents Are Deployed • PBS

Darwin: When you read that list, what happens when you get to the last one? Weird, right? I kind of have to pretend it’s not there, even though I suppose it’s obvious that it will win. Which is fine, because this is such a poor sampling of kids shows. Granted, there’s no longer an Even Stevens out there. And there are worse things (Cake, The Naked Brothers). But they could do better than this. Suite Life is the best of the regular shows nominated, so that can stay. And Hannah Montana is a phenomenon right now, so I accept that the way I accept Grey’s Anatomy‘s appearance in the regular categories. But That’s So Raven… just don’t encorage that crap, please. Please.

Hilary: I don’t know. The autism is kind of a tip-off that some of these shows are not like the others.

Darwin: It’s not strange to see Nick News involved. It kind of doesn’t matter what the subject is. Linda Ellerby could get anything nominated. Except The Wire.

Animated program (for programming less than one hour)
Avatar: The Last Airbender • City Of Walls And Secrets • Nickelodeon
Robot Chicken • Lust For Puppets • Cartoon Network
South Park • Make Love, Not Warcraft • Comedy Central
SpongeBob SquarePants • Bummer Vacation / Wig Struck • Nickelodeon
The Simpsons • The Haw-Hawed Couple

Darwin: As with the relatively new Oscar category for Animated Movie, I wonder how this is judged. Is the emphasis on program or on animated? With the appearance of Robot Chicken, The Simpsons, South Park and SpongeBob, it seems a lot more clear here than with movies that the quality of the animation isn’t a concern. Avatar could be a show with just mediocre animation and still be light years ahead of its competition on that score. But as the only serialized program nominated, and with little chance of voters watching more than one (if that), it can’t possibly have a chance.

Hilary: I don’t know that I’ve seen an episode of any of these this year. And as such, I don’t know why I’m even bothering to type this.

Animated program (for programming one hour or more)
Good Wilt Hunting (Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends) • Cartoon Network
Hellboy Animated: Sword Of Storms • Starz
Secrets Of The Deep • Discovery Channel
Where’s Lazlo? (Camp Lazlo) • Cartoon Network

Darwin: I would imagine, since it couldn’t even make a fairly weak field of half-hour programs, that Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends doesn’t really have a shot (though its chances have to be better than Camp Lazlo‘s.) But I just can’t imagine that anyone watching “Good Wilt Hunting” isn’t going to want to watch more, whereas they could be satisfied with what they see of the others (even if somehow they liked them better as isolated hours.) It helps, I suppose, to know Wilt before following him on the search for his creator (who turns out to be basketball icon Jordan Michaels), else why would you care how he lost his arm or why his eyes are so messed up? Or why he’s such a push over and can’t stop saying “I’m sorry.” But because this is an oversized episode, there’s time to invest yourself in all of that (not to mention Bloo’s insane conspiracy theories as to Wilt’s whereabouts and Frankie’s completely amazing road rage) and so by the end there’s a lot more on the line than could ever be the case with Hellboy or Secrets Of The Deep.

Plus there’s that theme song. Have I ever mentioned that?

Hilary: Mentioning it isn’t as important to listening to it. The best is when it comes up on shuffle with someone who’s never heard it. First there’s a confused reaction, then wonder. I feel like they invented this category so Foster’s could win. Though I really don’t get why it wouldn’t be in the half-hour category too…

Art direction for a multicamera series
How I Met Your Mother • CBS
The Class • Pilot • CBS

Darwin: Aw. What a sad little category. I really do not like the way this is going, but I have to go for How I Met Your Mother again. What production design was there in the pilot of The Class? An apartment full of people and a lackluster party. Plus that pilot was terrible. As much I ended up liking the The Class by the end, this does not make any sense.

It also doesn’t make any sense that nothing else could get nominated. Doug’s ice cream truck on King Of Queens alone should get that show on this (truly short) list.

Hilary: It kind of seems like only CBS Monday night before 9 p.m. could get it together to send in their tapes. (Also, this is a recurring question, but why are some shows listed with an episode and some not?)

Art direction for a single-camera series
Deadwood • HBO
Heroes • Genesis • NBC
Rome • HBO
Shark • Teacher’s Pet • CBS
The Tudors • Episode 101 • Showtime
Ugly Betty • The Box And The Bunny • ABC

Darwin: So Rome, Deadwood and The Tudors are obvious choices in this category. And again, Heroes had better episodes with which it could have displayed its prowess in this area (in fact wasn’t the point of the pilot to show us this was happening in the real world? The less art direction the better.) Which is why Ugly Betty has to win. The only inhibiting factor to great art direction in a period piece is money. Only Ugly Betty had to really create something.

Also, Shark is a weird choice. I’m trying to figure out if I missed something. Stark does have a fake courtroom in his basement. But that should only get him on some kind of HGTV special.

Hilary: I also feel like I should admit I’m not even sure what art direction is. You know I want Deadwood to win, just to win things, but I do love Ugly Betty for committing so spectacularly to making Mode and Betty’s world completely ridiculous all the time, no matter what.

Casting for a comedy series
30 Rock • NBC
Desperate Housewives • ABC
Entourage • HBO ector
Ugly Betty • ABC
Weeds • Showtime

Hilary: I never understand the casting categories. I feel like a show should really only be eligible its first year, though I know that doesn’t account for guest stars… Still, 30 Rock notoriously screwed up its casting by signing Rachel Dratch, refusing to use her and also then not knowing what to do with Jane Krakowski for most of the season. And Entourage doesn’t really cast, I don’t think. It’s all publicists begging to have their clients on the show and the writers just working with whoever they get. So I give it to Ugly Betty too. For doing right by a lot of good people: Eric Mabius, America Ferrara and your dear Becki.

Darwin: It’s not just casting that seems that way. But that’s kind of an unavoidable problem of serialized television and the honoring of it. Still, they could be less annoying in a lot of ways if they were to have a separate section for new shows. I’m really in favor of this ceremony taking days, I think. Anyway, if a show casts its creator and her immediate previous cast members, it shouldn’t qualify. Not sure how many people are begging to get on Entourage, though I don’t think it’s difficult to get them if they aren’t going to play themselves too terribly. Haven’t seen the second season of Weeds yet, but it seems like they do the best with the most unknowns (or little knowns anyway.) C.S.I. consistently has the best guest stars (and they’re mostly nobody you’d know), but since they’ve never had to replace any major cast member I guess they get overlooked.

Casting for a drama series
Brothers & Sisters • ABC
Friday Night Lights • NBC
Grey’s Anatomy • ABC
Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip • NBC
The Tudors • Showtime

Hilary: I just know Studio 60 is going to win this. Sucky. Friday Night Lights has a perfect cast.

Darwin: Brothers & Sisters doesn’t have to win this? All it has is its cast. Sure, I can’t stand all but one of them, but clearly that isn’t standing in Emmy’s way.

Choreography
Dancing With The Stars • Episode Number: 303A • ABC
So You Think You Can Dance • Ramalama (Bang Bang) • Fox
So You Think You Can Dance • Calling You • Fox
Tony Bennett: An American Classic • NBC

Hilary: Has this seriously always been a category? And if so, who got bumped by the reality dancing show onslaught?

Darwin: It think it’s generally populated by specials you’ve never heard of. But like anything, if there aren’t enough qualifiers, it will take the year off. Seems like it should have done that this year.

Cinematography for a multicamera series
According To Jim • Hoosier Daddy • ABC
Rules Of Engagement • Jeff’s Wooby • CBS
Two And A Half Men • Release The Dogs • CBS

Darwin: And now no How I Met Your Mother or The Class. This might be the most pointless category there is. How do you distinguish your cinematography from other multi-camera programs without dispensing with the multi-camera format? Still, Rules Of Engagment should win for getting David Spade and Patrick Warburton in the same frame.

Hilary: Ha! But then they’re going to advertise Rules of Engagement as the “passable, Emmy-winning comedy America didn’t seem to mind that much.”

Cinematography for a single-camera series
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation • Built To Kill • CBS
Deadwood • Catbird Seat • HBO
Rome • Passover • HBO
Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip • Pilot • NBC
The Sopranos • Soprano Home Movies • HBO

Darwin: It’s a shame, of course, that Friday Night Lights is missing from most any category, but none more than this one. It’s different in a way none of these nominees are (even the cable ones), but also in a way that alienates voters and viewers alike.

Hilary: I bet Rome actually deserves this award. I also bet it won’t get it. “Soprano Home Movies” was a beautiful episode though, in a different way than their hallmark darkness.

Darwin: I suppose I can guess as to how that Sopranos episode is different, but all I can think of is the middle of Raging Bull. But then, that won for cinematography too. I think it’s worth noting that C.S.I., while unilaterally copied, continues to reinvent its look without abandoning it, so it shouldn’t be sloughed off.

Cinematography for Nonfiction programming
Deadliest Catch • The Unforgiving Sea • Discovery Channel
Meerkat Manor • Family Affair • Animal Planet
Planet Earth • Pole To Pole • Discovery Channel
This American Life • God’s Close-Up • Showtime
When The Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts • HBO

Darwin: I know Planet Earth pretty much has anything it’s nominated for wrapped up, but it’s worth noting that Deadliest Catch camerapeople are literally dying out there to get this stuff.

Actually, this is maybe the most satisfying category in contention this year. There’s not one I don’t think should be here.

Hilary: I only saw This American Life, of course. I can’t watch things where animals die. I was promised that the meerkats all make it in the manor, but I was lied to.

Commercial
Animals – American Express
Battle – Cingular
Happiness Factory – Coca Cola
Jar – GE
Pinball – Pepsi
Singing Cowboy – Truth
Snowball – Travelers

Darwin: I never saw this Snowball one. And what’s it for? Travelers? What is that?

Hilary: I think it’s insurance. Against my professional better judgement, I deleted all the agency information from these. The only two I can remember by their names are the Coke and Truth ones. And while I did like the Coke one… I am convinced these are not the best commercials of the year. I’d give it to Pedigree for actually making me cry in 30 seconds.

Darwin: What about your favorite Cingular campaign (of which “Battle” is not one)?

Hilary: I don’t think my favorite Cingular campaign had the intended effect on me. Memorable, sure. But not the way they wanted.

Costumes for a series
Deadwood • Amateur Night • HBO
Desperate Housewives • Getting Married Today • ABC
Rome • De Patre Vostro (About Your Father) • HBO
The Tudors • Episode 103 • Showtime
Ugly Betty • I’m Coming Out • ABC

Hilary: Bold prediction: Deadwood is actually going to win this one. As it probably should.

Darwin: Eh. Same thing that went for Art Direction kind of goes here too. Although I don’t think Ugly Betty is inventing a whole lot of stuff themselves. Except for Amanda’s silver “dress.”

Directing for a comedy series
30 Rock • The Breakup • NBC
Entourage • One Day In The Valley • HBO
Extras • Episode 1 – Orlando Bloom • HBO
Scrubs • My Musical • NBC
The Office • Gay Witch Hunt • NBC
Ugly Betty • Pilot • ABC

Hilary: I cut the directors names out, huh? Sorry about that. I really want who I believe is Ken Kwapis to win for The Office. There was so much about “Gay Witch Hunt” that really worked because of the direction. For serious. Oscar and Michael’s kiss wasn’t even scripted, and he knew enough not to say cut when it happened.

Darwin: If enough people mistake cinematography for direction, Ugly Betty will win. And while neither “Orlando Bloom” nor “One Day In The Valley” were perfect the way “Gay Witch Hunt” was, they’re very good choices from their respective shows. Sadly, people love them some dancing and singing.

Hilary: I don’t know why, but your calling “Gay Witch Hunt” “perfect” has just about made this all worthwhile to me.

Directing for a drama series
Battlestar Galactica • Exodus, Part 2 • Sci Fi Channel
Boston Legal • Son of the Defender • ABC
Friday Night Lights • Pilot • NBC
Heroes • Genesis • NBC
Lost • Through the Looking Glass • ABC
Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip • Pilot • NBC
The Sopranos • Kennedy And Heidi • HBO

Darwin: Pitting the first episode of Friday Night Lights against the last episode of Lost is pretty unfair. Though ultimately I suppose “Through The Looking Glass” is more a feat of writing whereas Friday Night Lights is a feat of not-writing.

Hilary: This is a really, really tight category, and not just because it has seven nominees. I mean, yeah, give it to Peter Berg and definitely not Tommy Schlamme, for doing the same thing he perfected lo so many moons ago (and yes, I know Peter Berg perfected it in the movie, but he was bold enough to keep it the same for TV!).

Directing for a miniseries, movie or a special
Broken Trail • Part 1 & Part 2 • AMC
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee • HBO
Jane Eyre (Masterpiece Theatre) • PBS
Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre) • PBS
Tsunami, The Aftermath • Part 1 & Part 2 • HBO

Darwin: Walter Hill, please.

Directing for nonfiction programming
Ghosts Of Abu Ghraib • HBO
Star Wars: The Legacy Revealed • The History Channel
Thin • HBO
This American Life • #104 God’s Close-Up • Showtime
When The Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts • HBO

Darwin: The showdown we’ve all waited for: Ken Burns vs. Spike Lee.

Hilary: I know! I’ve really been waiting for this!

Single-camera picture editing for a drama series
Dexter • Dexter • Showtime
Heroes • Genesis • NBC
Lost • Through The Looking Glass • ABC
The Sopranos • Soprano Home Movies • HBO
The Sopranos • The Second Coming • HBO

Darwin: Dexter could win for its opening credits alone. I know The Sopranos is the favorite no matter what category it’s in, multiple nominations or not, but editing was fairly important in “Through the Looking Glass,” don’t you think?

Hilary: Yeah. Kind of. Though I don’t know how it’s really any different from any Lost episode.

Single-camera picture editing for a comedy series
My Name Is Earl • Guess Who’s Coming Out Of Joy • NBC
My Name Is Earl • The Trial • NBC
The Office • The Job • NBC
Weeds • Crush Girl Love Panic • Showtime
Weeds • Mrs. Botwin’s Neighborhood • Showtime

Darwin: I suppose I’d nominate “Traveling Salesman” or “Branch Closing” before “The Job” for editing, but Emmy loves to deal in firsts and lasts. Good news The Office is the only one without multiple nominations.

Hilary: I second the “Traveling Salesman” nomination. “The Job” had a lot of story to piece together in just the right order and timing, but that’s true of every episode of The Office pretty much.

Main title design
Dexter • Showtime
Hu$tle • AMC
Standoff • Fox
The Lost Room • Sci Fi Channel
The Path To 9/11 • ABC r
Ugly Betty • ABC

Darwin: Ugly Betty? For serious? It’s purposely bad (not to mention 10 seconds long.) The Emmys aren’t being ironic, are they? That might seriously mess me up.

Also, let’s remember that this is for the opening credits, not the song that accompanies said credits. Or else I’d clearly be more baffled by Standoff‘s appearance. Although those are some dumb opening credits, even when watched with one’s fingers in one’s ears. Trust me.

Hilary: I love the world for somehow noticing Standoff long enough to nominate it. Here’s where I mention The Wire again. Each season they have the luxury of building their credits around scenes shot through all the episodes (and using the same song, though different versions and artists each time). And slowly, as you watch episode by episode, you realize the significance of these otherwise disembodied shots as they’re put into context. When Lester finally puts his finger over that rusty nail in the board, it’s because of the credits that it means so damned much. Plus, there’s symbolism. The good kind.

Oh, and didn’t you get it? It’s about Ugly Betty‘s credits’ inner beauty. God, you’re shallow, Darwin.

Music composition for a series (dramatic underscore)
24 • Fox • Sean Callery, Composer
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation • Law Of Gravity • CBS • John Keane, Composer
Ghost Whisperer • Love Never Dies • CBS • Mark Snow, Music and Theme by
Kidnapped • Pilot • NBC • WG Snuffy, Composer / Music By
Planet Earth • Pole To Pole • Discovery Channel • George Fenton, Composer
Rome • Philippi • HBO • Jeff Beal, Music Composer

Hilary: Snuffy lives on, sigh. And Mark Snow is working on Ghost Whisperer now? That’s not right.

Darwin: Yes. Because Mark Snow has such a perfect resume up until now.

This is really strange, judging on specific pieces. Except for 24 apparently. George Fenton is the best composer nominated, and as I said, Planet Earth seems like an easy pick for anything for which it is nominated. And it’s amazing John M. Keane even bothers making new cues at this point, never mind great ones. But Sean Callery does the best work week to week. And with a vastly inferior show to work with.

Music and lyrics
Family Guy • Peter’s Two Dads • Fox
MADtv • 1209 • Fox
Saturday Night Live • Host: Justin Timberlake – Song title: Dick In A Box • NBC
Scrubs • My Musical: Song Title: Everything Comes Down to Poo • NBC
Scrubs • My Musical – Song Title: Guy Love • NBC

Hilary: We can’t let “Dick in a Box” go by unmentioned. Though the rest of the world is probably mentioning it enough without my contribution. Still, I’m glad it’s there. I’d give it to “Guy Love,” but I don’t want to risk Zach Braff deciding he wants to be in a band next.

Darwin: I suppose there isn’t a lot of choices, but seems like this is mostly a category for jokes. If Whose Line Is It Anyway? was still on could Wayne Brady get nominated? I’m fine as long as Family Guy doesn’t win. Anything. Ever.

Main title theme music
30 Rock • Hard Ball • NBC • Jeff Richmond, Music By
Dexter • Showtime • Rolfe Kent, Main Title Theme By
Hu$tle • 401 • AMC • Simon Rogers, Titles Music
On The Lot • 102A • Fox • Jeff Lippencott, Music By and Mark T, Music By
The Tudors • Episode 5 • Showtime • Trevor Morris, Main Title Theme Music By

Hilary: Isn’t this nice? Tina Fey and her husband both get nominations! And it’s unbelievable that On the Lot‘s generic “movie theme” got nominated.

Darwin: The Dexter theme is by far the superior work here (in fact, Daniel Licht should have been nominated for score too.) But it doesn’t stand out like 30 Rock‘s does. Maybe the fact that the title sequence as a whole is also the best will help it out a little.

Special visual effects for a series
Battlestar Galactica • Exodus, Part 2
Eureka • Pilot • Sci Fi Channel
Grey’s Anatomy • Walk On Water • ABC
Heroes • Five Years Gone • NBC
Rome • Philippi • HBO

Darwin: I’m assuming Rome is the best one here because the ones I do know (even the ones from Eureka) are kind of bad. Heroes is probably the best of those too, so Rome better be better.

Hilary: Battlestar Galactica‘s are pretty great. I wouldn’t discount it completely. But watch Grey’s Anatomy win for what I assume has to be the Meredith drowns episode.

Special visual effects for a miniseries, movie or a special
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee • HBO
Drive • The Starting Line • Fox.com
Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From The Stories Of Stephen King • The End Of The Whole Mess • TNT
Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King • Battleground • TNT
Secrets Of The Deep • Discovery Channel
The Path To 9/11 • Night 2 • ABC

Darwin: Oh, Drive was a miniseries. Now I get it. Also, what the huh? Drive effects were horrendous and actually kind of pedestrian as far as difficulty level. No Lost Room? An actual miniseries?

Hilary: But a miniseries on where? Fox.com! Amazing! Why are they crediting it online and not the network? I think it might have something to do with not having enough episodes airing to be eligible. Unless they count Fox.com. Which kind of seems like cheating.

And “pedestrian” describing Drive? Now you’re starting to sound like me.

Writing for a comedy series
30 Rock • Jack-Tor • NBC • Robert Carlock, Written by
30 Rock • Tracy Does Conan • NBC • Tina Fey, Written by
Extras • Daniel Radcliffe • HBO • Ricky Gervais, Writer and Stephen Merchant, Writer
The Office • Gay Witch Hunt • NBC • Greg Daniels, Written by
The Office • The Negotiation • NBC • Michael Schur, Written by

Hilary: At least this time I remembered to keep the writers names in. Really surprised “The Negotiation” is here. Less surprised about “Gay Witch Hunt.” Or any of the other nominees. I think biggest name recognition wins, so is that Tina Fey or Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant?

Darwin: Tina Fey is the bigger name. And this of course will be the worst thing she could win as far as I’m concerned. But I’m pretty much already resigned to it. But I have a little hope for Greg Daniels. You can’t be the best half hour of TV in a given year and go completely unnoticed, right?

Hilary: One would hope…

Writing for a drama series
Battlestar Galactica • Occupation/Precipice • Sci Fi Channel • Ronald D, Written by
Lost • Through The Looking Glass • ABC • Carlton Cuse, Written by and Damon Lindelof, Written by
The Sopranos • Kennedy And Heidi • HBO David Chase, Writer and Matthew Weiner, Writer
The Sopranos • The Second Coming • HBO • Terence Winter, Writer
The Sopranos • Made In America • HBO • David Chase, Writer

Hilary: Oy. Three Sopranos nominees. All deserved too. I think it’s really a question of which of those will win. No vote-splitting here or anything. They’re going to want to give it to David Chase, to say thanks. Which is the only way I can figure why “The Blue Comet” wasn’t nominated.

Darwin: Why bother naming the episode if you’re going to reward the writer for previous work? Obviously I realize that’s how it works, but doesn’t mean I shouldn’t still rail against it. Because it works the other way too, Daniel Lindelof won’t win not because “Through the Looking Glass” wasn’t great, but because the general consensus is he let his show get off track in the 21 episodes leading up to it.

Darwin: I suppose we all already knew this, but ‘man the Emmys are stupid, huh?

Hilary: What I don’t understand is how I can still get upset about them.

Outstanding comedy series
“Entourage,” HBO
“The Office,” NBC
“30 Rock,” NBC
“Two and a Half Men,” CBS
“Ugly Betty,” ABC

Darwin: This is going to one of the only categories in which I’ve seen all the nominated shows. And yet, I have little to say. Obviously, The Office ought to win. Especially since winning awards is the only thing it has going for it. [What does that mean?—Hilary] [It means that's what keeps it on the air, since not enough people watch it to justify the slot it inhabits.]

Hilary: I guess that’s not even true for me. The most I’ve really watched of Two and Half Men is a Chuck Lorre production card or two. So it’s clear I only want The Office to win here. And I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t. Though I suppose 30 Rock and Ugly Betty are its only competitors. I wish Ugly Betty were funnier. Then I wouldn’t mind it being nominated so much.

Outstanding drama series
“Boston Legal,” ABC
“Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC
“Heroes,” NBC
“House,” Fox
“The Sopranos,” HBO

Darwin: Even though I haven’t caught up yet, it’s comforting to know The Sopranos will win this fairly easily.

Since they’re so fond of splitting categories, you’d think they’d have separated the commercial-free shows from the rest by now. It’s not really fair, especially in drama. Because House is rarely less than perfectly structured as a network program and uses commercial breaks to its advantage. It might collapse without them. Never mind all the other obvious things it can’t do that an HBO show can.

Hilary: This is where I get most annoyed. I don’t think I ever thought both Deadwood and The Wire could get nominated, but having neither there feels really, really wrong. And in their (and Friday Night Lights’) places? Heroes and Boston Legal. Not to mention Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t even really want House here, but that’s definitely taking things too far. Anyways. Go Sopranos. Save us all.

Outstanding lead actor in a comedy series
Ricky Gervais as Andy Millman, “Extras,” HBO
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk, “Monk,” USA
Steve Carell as Michael Scott, “The Office,” NBC
Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, “30 Rock,” NBC
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS

Darwin: I’m not saying I want to see them switched, but Jon Cryer is in the Supporting Actor category and Alec Baldwin is here. And that doesn’t make any sense.

Tony Shalhoub and Steve Carell seem to be establishing a rivalry in this category, but as far as I can tell, neither one is progressing all that much from what they won for previously. Which might be a good strategy for an Emmy, and is obvious good for their shows because change is the enemy on comedy shows (even hour long ones, I guess), but Ricky Gervais has won before too and he was much better in Extras than he was then. And since apparently most Emmys are decided based on one episode, it shouldn’t matter that there were only six for him to be better in.

On another matter, shouldn’t these limited foreign series get put in with the mini-series people? Prime Suspect‘s had multiple incarnations and gets to go conquer that Best Actress category whenever it wants. Should Extras be treated any different just because they might make another six episodes someday if they feel like it?

Hilary: I think it’s all about how you submit yourself. The Starter Wife–all six episodes just like Extras–called itself a miniseries and got itself nominated but good. Extras called itself a series, and here we are.

I think Alec takes this easily. People want him to want to stay on the show.

Darwin: Wow. You think people think about things. That’s cute.

Outstanding lead actor in a drama series
James Spader as Alan Shore, “Boston Legal,” ABC
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House, “House,” Fox
Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin, “Rescue Me,” FX
James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano, “The Sopranos,” HBO
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, “24,” Fox

Hilary: I can’t stand Denis Leary here. Ideally in his place I’d put Ian McShane or even realistically Matthew Fox or definitely Michael C. Hall. I guess I should just be happy Gandolfini made it back.

Darwin: You’re more upset about Denis Leary than Kiefer Sutherland? I can’t imagine he could be any less interesting. Maybe there’s more potential to be terrible on a show like Rescue Me, but if barely registering is a qualification you might as well nominate Gary Sinise.

Hilary: I should qualify that Denis Leary is pretty good on Rescue Me, probably better than Kiefer. But I don’t resent Kiefer for making 24 all about Jack.

Darwin: That’s a dumb reason to kick him out of this category. If it came out that Kiefer Sutherland thought this season of 24 was stupid and boring and tried to change it, it wouldn’t then make him more qualified to be here.

Outstanding lead actress in a comedy series
Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo, “Desperate Housewives,” ABC
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine Campbell, “The New Adventures of Old Christine,” CBS
Tina Fey as Liz Lemon, “30 Rock,” NBC
America Ferrera as Betty Suarez, “Ugly Betty,” ABC
Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin, “Weeds,” Showtime

Hilary: It is awfully nice the way they keep nominating Felicity Huffman, just because the world loves her and Bill Macy. But really now. She’s probably even embarrassed by this. Though too professional to ever say so. From this list, I’d give to Mary-Louise Parker in a second, though I hate the idea of Weeds as a comedy. Funny as it sometimes can be.

Darwin: First of all, this is Bill Macy. Anyway, Felicity Huffman always seemed like the most realistic character on that show in the limited time I watched it. I’m sure that’s mostly disappeared by now, but I don’t believe the best rated shows shouldn’t be represented at all, and this is certainly the easiest to take. Obviously Tina Fey does not meet such criteria and while I don’t think she’s bad by any stretch, I really hate the idea of her having anything she’s doing validated in this way. Clearly though, it’s Julia Louis-Dreyfuss that should put us off the most. But really, unless we’re saying Gilmore Girls belongs (which we should) in this category, the only viable replacement I can come up with is Leah Remini.

America Ferrara wins, right? Doesn’t seem fair. She has a lot more time and opportunity to, you know, act.

Hilary: Yeah, America wins. Unless some kind of big 30 Rock-sweep thing happens. Or Mary-Louise does. I guess I’m just saying Julia Louis-Dreyfuss can’t. Which means she will now. (Oh and yeah, clearly Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel would be here. Or even, I don’t know, the girl from My Boys, whose name I can’t even remember.)

Darwin: My Boys is back July 30th. But seriously. Not her.

Outstanding lead actress in a drama series
Sally Field as Nora Walker, “Brothers & Sisters,” ABC
Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, “The Closer,” TNT
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson, “Law & Order: SVU,” NBC
Patricia Arquette as Allison Dubois, “Medium,” NBC
Minnie Driver as Dahlia Malloy, “The Riches,” FX
Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano, “The Sopranos,” HBO

Darwin: Why six nominees all of a sudden? Couldn’t bear to not include Nora Walker? Actually, Mariska Hargitay is the one whose appearance I fail to understand year after year. Especially when Christopher Meloni doesn’t seem to make it.

I know Edie Falco will no doubt run away with this, and deserves to, even if I didn’t see why, but Minnie Driver would be really nice. Better accent than Kyra Sedgwick and better facial expressions than anyone in any category.

Hilary: Edie Falco got robbed last year. She had less to do this year, but she’ll win to make up for that. I’d have trouble filling the rest of the category, with the exception of Connie Britton. She’s clearly the female lead on the show, right? Or maybe Martha Burns from Slings and Arrows? And totally off topic, but couldn’t it have been nominated for something? Paul Gross at least?

Darwin: Yeah. I like to try and stay in the realm of possibility, but sure, anything Slings & Arrows related would be great.

Outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series
Kevin Dillon as Johnny Drama, “Entourage,” HBO
Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold, “Entourage,” HBO
Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson, “How I Met Your Mother,” CBS
Rainn Wilson as Dwight Schrute, “The Office,” NBC
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS

Darwin: With the Entourage vote split, I suppose Neil Patrick Harris has a chance. At second place. But I’m not so sure he doesn’t deserve to win, which I realize is weird for me to say, but in a category full of ridiculous characters, his is the most realistic one that isn’t Jon Cryer. And no one cares how realistic you are on Two And A Half Men.

Hilary: I was a bit bummed to see Rainn Wilson listed, for some reason. He is wonderful as Dwight, but Dwight wasn’t as wonderful this year. Still, I want him to win. As much as I like both guys from Entourage… well, you know how I feel about Entourage. And neither has done anything new on the show. I’d be fine, I guess, if Neil Patrick Harris won too. If only because it’d be great to listen to the HIMYM fancast after that.

Darwin: Are you kidding? They’re thrilled enough right now.

Outstanding supporting actor in a drama series
William Shatner as Denny Crane, “Boston Legal,” ABC
T.R. Knight as George, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC
Masi Oka as Hiro Nakamura, “Heroes,” NBC
Michael Emerson as Ben, “Lost,” ABC
Terry O’Quinn as John Locke, “Lost,” ABC
Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti, “The Sopranos,” HBO

Darwin: Good ol’ Squishy Face. Maybe if Omar Epps had had a bout of constipation instead of silly identity issues he could be here too. Actually, I’d like to make the case for Eric King, but since Dexter got shut out of everything that wasn’t editing or camera related, that seems pointless. And if Patricia Arquette can get nominated, surely there’s room for Jake Weber, the only reason to watch Medium.

Hilary: What a weird range of people. I am happy Michael Emerson is here properly (instead of just as a guest like last year). Verbal Kent or not, I deem him awesome. But I think Michael Imperioli will take this in a walk. My missing people are all, clearly, from Deadwood and The Wire. My short list, since their names aren’t going to appear anywhere else this awards season: W. Earl Brown, Sean Bridgers, Dayton Callie, Jim Beaver, Wendell Pierce, Jim True-Frost, Clarke Peters, Seth Gilliam, J.D. Williams, Andre Royo, Michael K. Williams, Robert Wisdom, Jermaine Crawford, Maestro Harrell, Julito McCullum and Tristan Wilds.

Darwin: Short list?

Hilary: That’s pretty much the point.

Outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series
Jaime Pressly as Joy Turner, “My Name Is Earl,” NBC
Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesly, “The Office,” NBC
Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS
Conchata Ferrell as Berta, “Two and a Half Men,” CBS
Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater, “Ugly Betty,” ABC
Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes, “Weeds,” Showtime

Darwin: I realize I’m supposed to fall to my knees at the thought of Pam Beesly (not Beasly, really?) but I think I’m okay. I don’t want to minimize what Jenna Fischer does either, because of course it’s consistently amazing, whether it’s with Jim or Michael or just us and the camera guy. But while she is great on an otherwise great show, Jamie Pressly is a whirlwind on hers. Maybe it’s easy to seem that way among all the kind of bland characters of Camden County, but seriously, she stands out. And that’s what these things are supposed to reward, right?

Hilary: In theory, yes, but I think it’s a big nomination for Jenna Fischer. The standout roles get nominated. Jenna has to do kind of the same thing every week. I like rewarding that kind of consistency. (Though here’s where I ask why she’s a supporting nominee. She’s the female lead again, right? I know this is how she submitted herself, and probably wisely, but she seems misplaced.) I bet Vanessa Williams wins. It’s got a redemptive vibe to it to give it to her.

Darwin: I think the idea is there’s only one lead on The Office and that’s Michael Scott. Of course, that seems like an idea left over from the British one because it’s just not the case. Oh yeah, and where’s Becki Newton? Seriously, find her for me.

Hilary: And now that you mention it, where’s Ashley Jensen? Not for Ugly Betty, but for Extras.

Outstanding supporting actress in a drama series
Rachel Griffiths as Sarah Whedon, “Brothers & Sisters,” ABC
Katherine Heigl as Isobel “Izzie” Stevens, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC
Chandra Wilson as Dr. Bailey, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC
Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang, “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC
Aida Turturro as Janice Soprano, “The Sopranos,” HBO
Lorraine Bracco as Dr. Jennifer Melfi, “The Sopranos,” HBO

Darwin: With two Sopranos nominations, this was one category where the other guys (girls) had a chance. But then they go and nominate three from Grey’s Anatomy? Not smart, guys (girls.) You’d think that would give the edge to Rachel Griffiths, but I simply refuse to accept that. I’d like Katherine Heigl to win actually, despite the fact that my grandmother, who barely knows how to turn her television on, says she can’t act. She probably loves Chandra Wilson too, which I still don’t get. What is it people? There’s not a more predictable weekly performance out there.

Hilary: I don’t get any of these. Not even the Sopranos nominees, really. There’s just no person in this category who is remarkable beyond the material (which in the case of the Grey’s Anatomy actresses is damning indeed). I mean, yes, Lorraine Bracco and Aida Turturro have both been amazing on the series before. But this was not their season.

Darwin: I get Sandra Oh. I don’t like that I get it, but I do. And Katherine Heigl is the one person on that show I can sort of stand. So I guess I get that too. And if any show deserves two supporting nominations, it’s the one the most people watch. But there are way too many other possibilities. So many Hilary could make a tiny list out of them.

Outstanding miniseries
“Broken Trail,” AMC
“Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre),” PBS
“The Starter Wife,” USA

Darwin: Seeing as how I only watched The Starter Wife, I shouldn’t even bother. But I’d really like Broken Trail to win some stuff for Walter Hill’s sake. Still, I don’t want to encourage anymore basic cable Westerns. They do seem boring and are quickly canceling any good will Deadwood might have built for the genre.

Hilary: I don’t understand how The Starter Wife can be listed anywhere near Prime Suspect. What’s kind of funny is that they purport to kind of do the same thing, to give women a voice in a situation where men have dominated (divorce settlements and law enforcement, I guess). But they’re not in the same league. I keep thinking Jane Tennison wouldn’t give Molly Kagan the time of day. Or even Judy Davis’ character. Jane Tennison knows how to drink for real. Anyways. Prime Suspect must win. If I’d seen it in time for our best-of posts last year, it would’ve snuck in one way or the other.

Darwin: When is the man ever the good guy in a divorce settlement? On TV or otherwise?

Hilary: Not the good guy. The powerful guy. The one with the better lawyer. I don’t know. My point was The Starter Wife thinks its about an empowered woman. And that’s cuter than my believing the Emmys matter.

Outstanding made for television movie
“Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” HBO
“Inside the Twin Towers,” Discovery Channel
“Longford,” HBO
“The Ron Clark Story,” TNT
“Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy,” Lifetime

Darwin: I saw a little bit of Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee and it was terrible (see above about Westerns.) So anything else would be fine. Except that Lifetime thing. That sounds even worse.

Hilary: The Lifetime thing has Sarah Chalke in it. And got kind of good reviews. But yeah. Having seen none of these, I vote Longford, just so HBO will keep employing actors I like.

Outstanding lead actor In a miniseries or a movie
Robert Duvall as Prentice “Print” Ritter, “Broken Trail,” AMC
Tom Selleck as Jesse Stone, “Jesse Stone: Sea Change,” CBS
Jim Broadbent as Lord Longford, “Longford,” HBO
William H. Macy as Clyde Umney & Sam Landry, “Nightmares & Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King, Umney’s Last Case,” TNT
Matthew Perry as Ron Clark, “The Ron Clark Story,” TNT

Darwin: Not sure why we’re still doing this and not cinematography or editing where I could actually type something useful, but William H. Macy played two characters, so I’m willing to overlook the fact that he was in something based on a Stephen King book.

Hilary: Tomorrow we can do the other “useful” categories. Blame whoever decided these were the important ones.

Darwin: I still blame you.

Outstanding lead actress in a miniseries or a movie
Queen Latifah as Ana, “Life Support,” HBO
Helen Mirren as Jane Tennison, “Prime Suspect: The Final Act (Masterpiece Theatre),” PBS
Mary-Louise Parker as Zenia Arden, “The Robber Bride,” Oxygen
Debra Messing as Molly Kagan, “The Starter Wife,” USA
Gena Rowlands as Melissa Eisenbloom, “What If God Were the Sun,” Lifetime

Darwin: Debra Messing! Hooray!

Hilary: If Mary-Louise Parker somehow wins, she will try to give her award to Helen Mirren. And she should. (If Debra Messing wins, well, I’m right to be an atheist, but also, someone should make sure she speaks up.)

Darwin: Is this their way out of having Mary-Louise Parker win for Weeds? And I realize Helen Mirren is great and all, but at what point do you have to stop letting an actor win for the same role?

Hilary: Now. It’s her last one. I mean The Final Act. It says it right in the name.

Outstanding variety, music or comedy series
“The Colbert Report,” Comedy Central
“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” Comedy Central
“Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” NBC
“Late Show With David Letterman,” CBS
“Real Time With Bill Maher,” HBO

Hilary: Nothing to say here? Me neither, really. Except that I’m still not TiVoing The Daily Show. And I don’t miss it like I thought I would.

Darwin: If Bill Maher could stop the smug bookends of his show, it would be far and away the best thing here. But he can’t. Colbert is obviously the new force in this category, but I’m not sure the vote swings young enough for that to matter.

Outstanding reality program
“Antiques Roadshow,” PBS
“Dog Whisperer With Cesar Millan,” National Geographic
“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” ABC
“Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List,” Bravo
“Penn & Teller: Bullshit!” Showtime

Darwin: Can’t wait until whoever presents this has to read the nominees. I suppose this is what Penn & Teller have been after all this time.

Hilary: Wrongly, probably, I really want Kathy Griffin to win.

Darwin: It just seems like there’s an endless well to drink from for this category and they seem to be content with waiting for it to rain. Oh, metaphors, you’re the best.

Outstanding reality-competition program
“The Amazing Race,” CBS
“American Idol,” Fox
“Dancing With the Stars,” ABC
“Project Runway,” Bravo
“Top Chef,” Bravo

Darwin: It’s ridiculous that Survivor doesn’t get nominated anymore. I’m not sure what they want. It’s still gets pretty good ratings and it’s better than everything else on the list. I know giving this to the The Amazing Race every year makes them feel better about themselves, and understandably so, but I don’t even care that Survivor would lose. It just belongs on that list. Make it six if you want, Academy. Just stop being such a collective jerk.

Hilary: Yeah, even I’m mad Survivor isn’t here. Or America’s Next Top Model. My prediction is that somehow American Idol wins it this year. Or Top Chef. Or maybe even Project Runway. I guess my actual prediction is that The Amazing Race doesn’t win this year.

Darwin: This would be a much better awards show, done your way. Just tell us which one absolutely does not win. And make sure the people responsible are there. This would work best with actress categories. Especially if they told everyone precisely why.

To add to the awfulness, I didn’t have my notes and after all the Tyler Perry’s House Of Payne lately, my memory isn’t what it used to be. Thankfully. But despite all this, if you don’t try to listen, you’ll miss the continued dissension that is HBO Sunday, the sneaky meaninglessness of Hell’s Kitchen, what my father thinks about Heartland, the overt meaninglessness of On the Lot, Traveler’s middle-of-the-roadiness, Top Chef’s disdain for middle-of-the-roadiness, the end of The Starter Wife (brought to you by Pond’s), an ultra-happy exit from Studio 60, the toothy premiere of Burn Notice, an anxiety-ridden return of DeGrassi, and Standoff. For which we’ve already used our allotment of adjectives. Plus Hilary’s controversial stance on abortion. Now that’s worth enduring a little background noise for, isn’t it?